Survive the Sales: What to Do When It Gets Real


If you look forward to Black Friday, you’re not alone. Black Friday is when retailers big and small dramatically lower their prices, with some of them giving big budget items away to attract the crowds. And crowds is a good way to describe them, because as soon as Black Friday rolls around, the streets of small-town and big-city America look like a scene from Dawn of the Dead.

People die and are injured in the chaos, others do things they are not proud of. However, it doesn’t need to be like that. You can survive Black Friday and other big sales by learning a few tips and tricks — emerging with your life, your dignity, and a car-full of cheap products.

Be Prepared

Be Prepared

Proper preparation is vital to surviving the sales. This is how the extreme couponers and the super moms do it, and if you want the best stuff in the quickest time, then you need to do it as well. Check-out flyers, leaflets and websites from your local stores. Find out when they open and what they are selling. They will typically point out some big ticket items well in advance; after all, they need to ensure that customers visit their stores on the big day. Decide where you will be at what time, and what you will be buying when you get there. Work out how much you need to pay and make sure you have the cash or credit on hand. This way you can speed through the sales, getting in and out of the biggest stores (casual shopping is not recommended in the chaos of Black Friday). You’ll be back home with all of your new purchases before you know it.

A Soundtrack

If you slap on some headphones and blast up the volume on your favorite tracks, you can tune-out the chaos of the sales and give yourself a little motivation in the process. Put on “Eye of the Tiger” and imagine yourself as a sweat-encrusted Rocky as he battles through the final round of a big fight, determined to make it out alive and as the victor.



It’s going to be a long day and you’ll need something to get you through it. If you’re anything like the rest of us, you’ll need coffee to keep you awake throughout. It’s not practical to go looking for a coffee shop on Black Friday; everyone else will be doing the same and the queues will take hours off your precious time. Take a thermos of strong coffee instead; you can sip this whilst you queue outside stores. It will keep you warm and awake. If this is not practical for you, then take some caffeine pills instead — just don’t overdo it.


Feeling stressed? Take a timeout. Don’t try and do too much, because if you pass-out or have a panic attack, the sales will end early for you. If you’re feeling like things are getting on top of you, then take a break in your car (assuming you’re not in the middle of the road) or in the changing rooms at a store.

Act Crazy

Act Crazy

Lastly, if you find yourself in a mass of human bodies with everyone reaching for the same thing, shouting, pushing and shoving, then just act crazy. Stand still, close your eyes, twitch like a mad woman/man, and scream at the top of your lungs. You will be amazed at how quickly everyone will leave you alone.