Thoughts You Have Every Time You’re Trapped Sitting in Traffic


1. F***

2. Did this many people really just get off work at the same time?

3. Why isn’t my Bluetooth syncing?

4. That’s the same car my ex drives. Let’s really hope we’re not about to have an awkward traffic run in.

5. Is that weird that I even thought of that?

6.Maybe I do sort of want a run in. Okay maybe not.

7.Why can’t they do something to the roads so that there isn’t traffic?

8. To be fair I wouldn’t want to live in the speed of town that doesn’t have traffic, but this sucks.

9. Maybe it’ll be different when we get flying cars.

10. But that also sounds like the potential for a lot of trouble, how would that even work? Wait is that even possible?

11. I’d really like to belt out this┬ásong but also find it likely that someone might video me and put in on YouTube, and that’s not the way I want to spend my 15 minutes of fame.

12. Do I have any snacks in here?

13. Note to self, keep snacks in the car.

14. At least some almonds or something, those won’t go bad.

15. Also, wash the car.

16. When is the last time I washed this thing?

17. I don’t really understand the dust buildup in here.

18. I’m definitely going to be late and probably ruin my life.

19. Okay that’s a little dramatic, might just ruin the day.

20. No, no. There’s nothing I can do I just need to accept it and relax.

21. Yeah, not happening.

22. How much gas am I using just sitting here?

23. Whoa that would suck to just straight up run out of gas in the middle of traffic and everyone would honk and mean mug you. Shudder.

24. Texting in traffic isn’t as bad as texting while driving right? It’s not the same.

25. Oops I just came a little close to tapping that car.

26. Sorry!

27. Really, this jerk is passing everyone on the right?

28. Where is a cop when we need one.

29. Oh speaking of, I need to pay that street cleaning parking ticket.

30. Why can’t I ever just pay my tickets as soon as they come? It’s not like they’re going away.


32. Street cleaning, please. Biggest rip off I’ve ever heard.

33. This would be a good time to use a mantra if I had one.

34. Where do I get one of those?

35. What do they teach you about hand placement on the steering wheel again? Ten and two? Unlikely.

36. Wow in retrospect 16 seems really young to be able to drive a car. No wonder my parents were worried.

37. Oh yes we’re moving!!!!


38. Oh no, not exactly.

39. Well that was a real false cause for celebration.

40. Okay, I can get through this.

41. I’m a reasonable adult, just sitting in some traffic.

42. Wait…

43. I am not in traffic… I am traffic. Whoa.

44. I should tweet that.

45. If I wasn’t on the road right now would the traffic be lighter?

46. What if 100 of us just chose to take a different route?

47. Why didn’t we? Do we have free will? This is tripping me out.

48. Okay, I’m extremely thirsty right now, this is not cool.

49. I’m going to need a really large glass of wine when I get home. I deserve it.

50. Maybe two.

51. I’m going to let this lady in, get some good karma stacked up before the weekend.

52. WTF she didn’t even wave thanks! Whatever lady.

53. Arghhhhhhh.

54. How many people actually chose their car color and how many people just went with what was available, because some of these are weird.

55. Maybe I should call someone. Oh yeah my Bluetooth isn’t syncing.

56. I can speaker it from my lap I guess.

57. Cool, not answering.

58. More music I suppose, let’s drown out my thoughts before I get too deep.

59. Is it embarrassing to listen to Justin Bieber or is he like cool now?

60. I mean either way it’s happening.

61. I’ll just keep my windows rolled up here.

62. Wait why is this person staring at me?

Media Tenor

63. Seriously they’re creeping me out, are they going to follow me?

64. Oh wait that’s a child.

65. *Waves*

66. Is that kid supposed to be in school right now?

67. Wait what time is it?

68. What it’s only been 10 minutes?? Try 10 years.

69. Angela’s right, I’m pretty dramatic.

70. But like no one likes traffic. Please.

Authentically Aurora

71. I think we’re moving again, but I learned my lesson last time and won’t get too excited.

72. But… yes… I think…

73. We’re moving!!

74. Oh wait, I’m not actually going to be late at all.

75. Crisis averted.