1. I’m so glad today is Friday.
2. Wait, today IS Friday, right?
3. For the love of — it’s Thursday. Awesome.
4. But I was day-dreaming about doing so many wonderful things after work today…
5. Ordering pizza… watching a movie… staying up late just because I can…
6. I guess I could still get pizza tonight.
7. No, Thursdays don’t deserve pizza.
8. Now how am I supposed to get through the day?
9. There is no disappointment greater than this.
10. I only have energy for one more day of work. So should today be a write off, or should tomorrow be?
11. Today. Definitely today.
12. I can work hard tomorrow. I’ll use the adrenaline from it almost being the weekend to stay awake!
13. Better get some coffee if I want to make it through the rest of today.
14. Pizza was made for Fridays, but coffee was most definitely made for Thursdays.
16. And by that I mean make it look like I’m getting work done.
17. Thank goodness the vast majority of my job involves staring into space brainstorming ideas.
18. Or, in this case, staring into space thinking about the weekend.
19. Woah! I think the whole office just heard my stomach grumbling… Is it almost lunch?
20. 11:00 a.m.? A little early for lunch…
21. I could eat my snack, but I was going to save that for the long stretch between lunch and dinner in the afternoon.
22. If I eat it now I’ll totally hate myself at 3:00 p.m.
23. Okay, just ignore your stomach.
24. You’re probably just thirsty! Drink some water.
25. Nope, definitely not thirsty.
26. Screw it. Sorry 3:00 p.m. me, I’m eating this snack now.
27. Mayday, mayday, still hungry!
28. 11:15 a.m. isn’t too early for lunch.
29. The lunch window is like 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Everyone knows that.
31. I have no resolve, but at least I’m not hungry anymore.
32. Ugh, is Sandra side eyeing me right now? Don’t judge me, Sandra! I needed food.
33. Just ignore her, she’s probably jealous that I was confident enough to eat my lunch before noon. You wish, Sandra.
34. Maybe I should actually do some work now. It’ll make the day go faster at least.
35. Look at me, typing so furiously, clicking with so much purpose. I just exude productivity.
36. I’ve been working for hours now! Thursday is almost over!
37. 12:30 p.m.?! That’s it?!
38. I’m not even halfway through the day yet…
39. I thought I could do this, but I can’t.
40. Yes, Sandra, I’m fine. Sorry that I looked like I was going to dissolve into tears for a minute there.
41. I thought today was Friday and then I realized it’s only Thursday.
42. At least Sandra feels my pain! Thanks for the support, girl!
43. Okay, maybe she isn’t so bad after all.
44. Too bad the only thing we have in common is that we both hate Thursdays.
46. Did I, though? Or did I die on a Thursday and now I’m stuck in hell reliving Thursdays for the rest of my life.
47. I think my brain might legitimately be broken. I can’t concentrate.
48. More coffee it is, I guess!
49. Ah yes, this is how I got through the other Thursdays.
50. Thank you for being a ray of hope in my life, coffee.
51. Okay, not looking at the clock again until I get some work done.
52. Just kidding.
53. 1:00 p.m.?! Whyyyyy.
54. Is this day ever going to end?
55. Please, someone distract me.
56. Yes, Paul, please come over and talk to me. You’re always good for a half hour of not letting anyone else get in a word edgewise.
57. …he was just going to the bathroom. Darn it, Paul.
58. Okay, work. You can do this. Concentrate.
59. Alright, now what time is it?
61. I’m the strongest person to ever live.
62. If I can do this, I can do anything.
63. Except survive the next 15 minutes. No way I can make it through the next 15 minutes.
64. Yep, skipping out.
65. See you all tomorrow for the best day of the work week.